Pop-trash
So, standing in line at the local Costcutter today, buying my dailys, I got very angry. I recognised a tinkering sound coming from the store radio - a familiar sort of tune. Probably just the generic pop-ballard, I innocently thought to myself. Innocence had nothing to do with this drivel. Not 5 seconds later did I recognise the tune again, and I listened closer. It sounded like Eric Claptons gorgeous song, 'Wonderful Tonight', being disembowled by either Generic Boyband #2 or Generic Boyband #3. This time, the innocent, cheap crap has gone a little too far.
For those who don't know the song, or the artist, let me fill you in. Eric Clapton is, or at least has been, widely heralded as the greatest guitar player on Earth. He's a bit old-school nowadays, I don't think he's released anything new for many years. But his albums have sold billions, and he's something of a rock paragon. Well respected for his musical and song-writing ability. Yes kids, Mr Clapton writes his own music. This song in particular is a beautiful, slow ballard of sorts. The signiture weeping guitar is pretty legendary now, and you'd recognise if you heard it. The lyrics are sweet and loving. The song is all the more wonderful for being sung softly and passionatley by Clapton, telling a sort of love story, with the gorgeous guitar giving the song some real heart. It also sounds bloody fantastic. But a large part of the appeal is the loving, tender way it is sung by Clapton, singing his heart out.
Now it seems that the pop industry is pissing on all of this in the name of money. Some smooth-faced, greasy-voiced manufactured group has 'covered' the song. Thats actually quite an embellishment: 'copied' would be a more accurate term, 'destroyed' would be more fitting. Instead of a touching, one-man serenade, the song is about three or four lads spewing some words into the air. The tune is the same, the style and tempo are the same, the lyrics are the same. It's the most unimaginative cover track in the universe. The vocals are all-too soft, pretentous and egotistical. There is no feeling or emotion in the song now - just some lads humming a tune, with pointless vocal flairs and 'ooo-aaa's and worthless showing off of sickly, kitten-soft voices. No, I don't think they can sing. No, I don't think they have any personality, let alone charm. No, I can't understand why people would buy this trash.
Not only has the song been rendered heartless, and its lyrics meaningless (what sense in four guys singing about one evening with one girl? Wheres the emotion there?); but it's been given a special kind of cheapness. It's actually quite an acheivement - to take one tune, make no change to it, and yet render it cheap and worthless and tinny. Clapton's weeping electric guitar has been replaced by a now clichéd acoustic picking. It's the latest generic pop-effect. Want to sweeten up a song with something nice? Want to add some sparkle and shiny, and maybe a romantic, spanish summery effect? Throw in an acoustic guitar solo, and pre-recorded tat will do. That philosophy has been applied to Claptons music. The same tune (I'm reluctant to use the word 'riff', because it doesn't seem to fit) on a different instrument, played by a different person. And it's completely worthless. It's familiar, clichéd, cheap and worthless.
This guitar effect is just another in a long-line of musical cliche. Theres all those generic sysnthesised drum loops and basslines that define modern pop music. Theres the use of (synthesised) strings in pop ballards, and sometimes rock music. If the song seems too unemotional, and not sweet enough, throw in some violins, steadily rising in pitch leading up to the final chorus. You can even have each singer sing slightly out of synch as well. Generic Boyband #4 (Westlife, I think) used this effect in pretty much I ever heard of theirs. Sure, its quite a nice effect once or twice - it brings an otherwise dull song to quite a dramatic climax. But every single fucking time? It completely destroys the effect. The effect can be quite cheaply achieved in rock music too - except you can do a little synthesised trickey, and alter an electric guitar to have a string accompniament (sp?).
I'm very pissed off about this. TO have this shit in pop music is OK - I don't have to listen to it, and the kids seem to enjoy it. Thats fine - just keep it away from me and I can cope. But to totally subvert such a nice song by Clapton, well its just kinda sick. Perhaps the sickest thing of all, people will buy it. Maybe in two years time, some teenager will listen to the Clapton track and think 'what a shitty cover of Generic Boyband #26! How do these people get away with it?'. This, my friends, is the world we live in.